You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
