Kiss
Puke
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
