Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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