And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
