I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
