Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize