direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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