I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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