Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just pee around me
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
