There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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