Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she told me i tasted like america
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
