So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
