There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
