yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
