How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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