CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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