He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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