she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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