Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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