it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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