no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
