I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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