He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
