I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
