I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
