New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
