If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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