So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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