I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize