well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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