Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
