3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
