Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
