So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
