tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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