Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize