He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
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Semen is not good for contacts.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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