just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
