listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
