I skipped work to stalk him.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
