I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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