it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
