TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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