it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
