PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
