you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
