So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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