They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize