Heybabeimwearingurpanties
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
