Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
