The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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