Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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