Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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