I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
