so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
