You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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