At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
