We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
