Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
