Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
